It Is What It Is: Healing Through Acceptance
How loving what we resist is the path to health and happiness
Acceptance is the most basic form of love.
Embodying acceptance is one of the keys to ending our suffering and one of the primary keys to happiness.
One of the leading causes of suffering in our lives is wishing that something is different from what it is.
Once we accept things as they are, our suffering eases.
I am not suggesting you should be a walkover. Certain things and situations should not be accepted, and actions should be taken to improve them, such as setting boundaries or walking away from them altogether.
Outside of those cases, there are many situations that we cannot change, as they are beyond our control.
Resisting what is gives us a false sense of control over life’s circumstances, with the mistaken expectation that they may cease or transform if we resist what is happening.
Denial of what is is unlikely to bring about any of those results.
On the contrary, it is likely to enhance them.
When we can accept our circumstances and what is occurring, the energy begins to move again, free from the stagnating grasp of our prior resistance.
The more we can accept, the more we can flow and be peacefully present in the current moment.
Often, this allows us to move beyond our current conditions as we have released control, transforming our stagnation into flow.
By accepting what is, we free up the energy previously trapped by our resistance and allow for more possibilities to emerge.
Accepting Who We Are
Accepting ourselves for who we are is the first step to self-love.
We live in a world based on consumerism that thrives by enforcing the illusion that we are not enough. We are consistently bombarded with programming that we need to buy this or that product to make us worthy and whole.
By not fully accepting ourselves, we buy into materialism, which directs our attention to the outer world, where no real, lasting solution can be found.
Of course, our unworthiness is nothing but a fallacy, but we have been programmed this way for so long that it is often hard to see it as so.
The true worth we seek lies within us, a far cry from all the intense propaganda selling us the opposite.
We will only reclaim true and lasting self-worth by looking within, not from anything or anyone outside us.
The first step is to accept ourselves as the perfectly imperfect beings that we are - right here, right now, not when we lose weight, get that job, graduate, or use whatever excuse we use to postpone owning our inherent greatness.
From there, we can heal ourselves back into our wholeness, but it all starts with self-acceptance.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” - Mark Twain
Acceptance Of The Past
To truly heal and embody wholeness, we must become comfortable embracing ALL the emotions that arise within us - especially those uncomfortable ones we have long hidden away.
Remember that this is work for the brave of heart: it takes extraordinary courage to face the pain and discomfort we have perpetually avoided. We must be patient, kind, and compassionate towards ourselves during this process.
The fear of something is often far worse than the thing itself. Resisting what needs our attention instead of accepting and facing it, results in more prolonged pain than the actual feeling of it.
When we continually resist our fear and unwelcome emotions, we force ourselves to feel the dread of them every time we do, repeatedly! Essentially, it is a form of self-torture that we are most often oblivious to.
What we ignore or resist gets louder each time we do, and eventually, it rots away within us, causing physical dis-ease to attract our attention.
If we feel it immediately, even though it will not be pleasant, it will pass much sooner and be considerably less painful in the long run.
“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” - William James
Acceptance Of The Future
Accepting what we may be afraid of, instead of resisting it and pushing it out of our minds, can heal our anxieties.
When we accept and connect with our concerns, we can heal them by giving them the attention they demand, thereby diffusing them.
Resisting them will keep us against the flow and freeze us into the status quo.
Avoid prolonged torture! The saying 'What you resist persists' is 100% true. I can verify this as I have tried and tested it a gazillion times!
Stepping into acceptance, relaxing into what is and facing and feeling what we are most afraid of is where our healing and freedom lie.
Most likely, the anxiety that is arising within us and causing this agitation was cultivated within us when we were much younger and less able to fend for ourselves.
It was likely valid in some way back then, but now that we are adults, we are capable of dealing with it. We have grown so much since then and are much stronger than we realise in many ways, given all that we have experienced.
If we weren't capable of dealing with these fears and emotions, they would not manifest in our life experiences. What presents itself is ready to be freed by our loving conscious awareness.
Every time we experience them is an opportunity for healing into wholeness and a step closer to freedom.
Healing Through Feeling
Society teaches that positive feelings are well received. Yet, negative ones are best kept to ourselves so as not to rock the boat and invite the possibility of rejection or even abandonment.
This results in the conception that certain feelings are good and others are bad, which is inaccurate. All emotions have a message for us and are equally valid and important.
While some may be more pleasant to experience than others, the 'good' ones are no more relevant than the 'bad' ones.
By stuffing down our 'negative' feelings, we only damage ourselves. Emotions are there to be felt and released. They are energy in motion (e-motion) and need to keep moving. When we resist them, we trap them, which brings about physical disease.
When we can accept and spend time with the fear-based feelings that present themselves, we open the door to healing.
They have likely been waiting for this moment for a long time - even decades or lifetimes.
The key to releasing is not to get pulled into the emotion seeking attention but to be present with it and honour it instead. We need to acknowledge it without getting sucked in and love it and ourselves throughout the process.
Take your time and give what is arising the attention it deserves. See it and love it with all of your heart and soul. This way, your genuine love, compassion, and presence can finally liberate it.
Naturally, this takes practice, so please resist the temptation to be hard on yourself.
Congratulate yourself every time you successfully recognise and address these delicate and challenging energies that crave your attention.
Allow the emotion to pass through you and remind yourself that all is well throughout your discomfort.
It is safe to feel the rainbow of emotional frequencies that exist.
It is part of our human journey to do so!
Doing so enables us to heal back into our wholeness.
Acceptance Is Essential To Our Evolution
Acceptance is the primary ingredient in the healing and change we seek in our lives.
We can only constructively pursue our desires if we fully accept where we are now. From that acceptance, growth can occur.
If we are in denial about where we are, then it is improbable that we will ever reach our desired outcome, as we are moving from an imaginary starting point.
Owning where we are requires us to accept where we are entirely. Once we own our current circumstances and conditions, we can expand beyond them.
When we love where we are through acceptance, we can heal, grow, and change phenomenally.
But that is only possible when we first give ourselves the gift of acceptance.
"Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them." - Albert Einstein
Embracing A New Way Of Being
In essence, everything is neutral. It is us who give meaning to everything.
Everything we experience serves a purpose. Even the most harrowing circumstances serve a purpose in our soul's growth, as impossible as that may seem to digest as we experience it.
Life's challenges enable us to grow and push past our comfort zones, so from this perspective, the so-called bad experiences can be positive in the grander scheme of things.
It's all about perspective. Having this viewpoint makes life's happenings easier to accept - even the most painful ones. Maybe not at the time, but further down the line, once our hearts heal from the brokenness, we realise that we are able to hold more light from the cracks that the heartbreak has allowed to enter.
How beautiful is that?
This life is a paradox. One can find beauty in grief and kindness in cruelty.
Life’s polarities are two sides of the same coin.
If we can live our lives with open-hearted acceptance irrespective of our life experiences, we allow ourselves to experience more peace by neutralising the polarity of the spectrum of emotions and experiences we encounter.
Living this way allows us to exchange pain for peace and release our judgment about the more unpleasant aspects of our lives.
Each one plays an essential role in our evolution. However, we choose to view it.
The bottom line is moving forward with complete acceptance. Accepting what we feel or whatever outside circumstances may present will allow us to live more peacefully.
An open mind and heart are critical to our health, happiness and evolution; they are the foundation for acceptance, which is the foundation of love.
As you do your best to welcome every feeling and situation, you will watch your life transform before your eyes. In doing so, you call forth the best possible outcomes to manifest and enable your life to elevate continuously.
It is what it is…
And that is just perfect!
Infinite Love,
Ponder Woman
“Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” - Eckhart Tolle
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